Every year I re-read What Southern Women Know about Flirting by Ronda Rich. This book has been a staple in my library for the last 9 years! I first read this book the summer before my sophomore year in college (2008) and I have recommended it to almost every woman I have met since.
That summer was also my first time preparing for a sorority recruitment. That year, our brilliant and beautiful recruitment chair recommended this book as a summer reading to prepare for Fall recruitment. There is a whole section in this book about social flirting, which was primarily what we focused on in our workshops….I like to think it helped 🙂
However, beyond college, this book has seen me through so many seasons of life. I feel like every time I read it I learn something new. In addition to social flirting, which applies to how you may interact with strangers, friends, and work colleagues, Ronda Rich also talks about courtship and seductive flirting. I thought, given the nature of this blog, I would share some of her insights here regarding the latter.
In chapter twelve, The Fine Art of Winning his Heart with Red Silk and Black Lace, Rich discusses the importance of lingerie and self-care in seductive flirting.
One of the principal messages in this chapter is the importance of thinking “Beautiful Thoughts.” It all really does start there, doesn’t it? It’s no secrete that confidence is one of the most attractive qualities in another person. Lingerie, in my opinion, is an accessory (and a very important one) that helps facilitate a state of mind.
Rich also discusses the importance of beauty treatments, fragrance, and posture. With regard to beauty treatments, she simply recommends treating yourself well. That is to say, we all should establish a routine of pampering ourselves, whether that is with a bubble bath and glass of wine, or a tea party and lingerie…it is so important to spend time with yourself doing whatever makes you feel pretty. This also means wearing your silk gowns to bed every night, if only, and especially for yourself!
With regard to fragrance…Rich states that it should be a part of your self-care routine, but also a part of the seductive flirting process, as fragrance is a powerful aphrodisiac. She recommends dabbing it on before bed, occasionally spraying your pillows, and layering during the day. Note: Layering a fragrance helps with its lasting power. Layering is also all about the process; pampering yourself with lotion, powder, and then perfume.
My personal favorite is:
Chanel’s Coco Mademoiselle
You can find the lotion, powder, and perfume here!
Finally, she also stresses the importance of the “Perfect Match!” She writes this with regard to matching lingerie, stating that:
“Matching underneath is just as important as matching on top. When you wear sexy lingerie, you feel sexy. And when you feel sexy, you act sexy. It’s that simple. “
My take away from this chapter is that self-care builds self-love, and self-love builds confidence!! I hope you all decide to check out What Southern Women Know about Flirting, and some of Ronda Rich’s other work.
There really is something for everyone in this book ❤
Until next time,